Alice Greczyn

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How to Make a Coronapocalypse Kit With What You Already Have

It is upon us.

SARS-CoV-2, also known as the coronavirus, has many of us scrambling to get ready for the coronapocalypse. But when we’re told to practice social distancing and prepare for self-quarantine, we’re faced with a catch-22: Do we go out to get the things we need to stay in? 

You probably already have them.

If you missed the panic buying spree of the past few days, fear not. My time as a Girl Scout, a Walking Dead fan, and a survivalist junkie have taught me the first thing you need to do after making sure everyone’s okay: Take inventory and ration, ration, ration. 

It’s likely you have much of what you need in your home and car. If you live someplace prone to hurricanes or other natural disasters, and you’re prepared because you’re smart (and I know you are), you have supplies pre-stocked you can repurpose for this pandemic. Same if you love to camp. Not a doomsdayer living in a flood zone who backpacks in their free time? Not to worry. Unless you’ve recently Marie-Kondo-ed your home sparse, you’re more prepared than you think. Here are some ways you can take stock of what you have, get creative for what you don’t, and regain a sense of control, all while social-distancing. 

FOOD

Remember that bag of dried beans sitting in the back of your pantry? And the half-used sack of jasmine rice you stopped eating because it wasn’t brown? Find some protein-packed rice-and-beans recipes and put those forgotten foods to use. Just make sure there aren’t maggots in the couscous you meant to pilaf five years ago. Other meal-planning tips?

  • Eat perishables like produce, fish, and nonfrozen meats first.

  • Cook your dry and canned goods with the spices you haven’t used since Thanksgiving and portion them into freezer-proof baggies to eat as-needed.

  • The jar of simmer sauce you meant to sauté with the mixed vegetable medley molded to the bottom-corner of your freezer? Time to use those frozen veggies for something other than icing your fillers and sports injuries.

  • Make energy balls out of common pantry staples like oats and peanut butter—sweeten with sugar, dried fruit, maple syrup, or hot cocoa packets. Or leftover holiday candy, I promise you it’s hiding somewhere.

  • Bags of flour and tubs of shortening leftover from that one time you tried making homemade pie crust? Make fry bread or sopapillas instead—they make great shells for tacos of canned chili. 

  • When all that’s left in your cabinet is a random tin of cream of tartar you can’t remember buying—and hopefully it won’t come to that—dig up the freeze-dried camping meals in your garage or earthquake kit and set the pace to grueling and your portions to meager—yes, that is an Oregon Trail reference.

MEDICINE

Let’s start by doing our best not to get sick, shall we? If you’re one of the unlucky whose stores ran out of Purell, you can make your own sanitizer using roughly two-parts rubbing alcohol to one-part aloe vera gel. The jury is out on its effectiveness against the coronavirus—CDC says sanitizers should contain at least 60% alcohol, so an isopropyl content of 90% or higher is necessary for this blend—still, ridding some germs is better than none. Other health tips?

  • If you don’t have aloe vera lying around from your last sunburn, you can kill viruses with sprays of hydrogen peroxide or bleach.

  • Good old fashioned hand-washing with soap is better than squirts of sanitizer anyway, because chemistry.

  • That natural disaster kit you were smart enough to get before you needed it? Bet it includes alcohol wipes, rubber gloves, and maybe even a face mask. No natural disaster kit? Your car’s first aid kit should still give you some basic staples, and if you don’t have any first aid kit, I don’t know what to tell you.

  • If you do feel sick, and if it’s not worth taking up hospital space from those who may need it more, you probably have some packets of Tylenol in your emergency kit or in the back of your medicine cabinet. Advil and Aleve will also work to bring down a fever, and home remedies like a tepid bath and spicy foods are bound to have a comeback. Again, perhaps some relief is better than none.

HYGIENE

By this point, it should go without saying that a dip of the head is more polite than shaking hands. In fact, you really shouldn’t be in a position to interact with strangers at all, but what if you’re running low on that aforementioned soap? Check your home before venturing out.

  • Your toiletry kit might have some travel size goodies left. No mini hotel bottles to be found? Make your own shampoo, and for everything else, there’s coconut oil. Use it as a conditioner, hair pomade, shaving cream - even lube. Bets are on for how many Coronnials will be born around the New Year. 

  • Out of toilet paper? So is everyone but the hoarders. Alternatives include tissue, paper towels, baby wipes, makeup wipes, Dude Wipes, feminine wipes, and those travel packs of Kleenex you have stuffed in your glove box. Just make sure whatever you use is flushable or else seal it backpacker-style in a Ziploc. 

  • Really-really out of toilet paper and all usual substitutions? …I’m gonna do it. I’m going to include the option of reusable toilet paper, a.k.a., “family cloth.” (Omigod let’s never say that term out loud.) Yep, you can cut up some old flannels and t-shirts and wash and reuse. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and as advocates point out, we’ve been using cloth diapers on babies for centuries. But dear gawd, let’s hope supplies of Cottonelle and Quilted Northern restock. And please, don’t @ me.

ENTERTAINMENT

Now that we’ve covered some basics, let’s turn to how you’re going to stay sane as you shelter-in-place. Adults are working from home, kids are out of school, and let’s be honest, this is like cabin fever on steroids. Even introverts are feeling antsy. Here are some ways to keep entertained once you’ve binge-watched all your favorite shows.

  • Stay social. It’s never been easier to virtually connect, and just because bars and restaurants are going dark doesn’t mean we can’t meet up. Girl’s Night on Google Hangouts? FaceTime WineTime? Speed Dating on Skype? Hey, with the inescapable success of Netflix’s Love Is Blind, society might be up for some relationship experiments, pandemic-edition. (Too soon?)

  • Board games. Gather your housemates or get your pals together on Zoom for a virtual game night. If you have Cards Against Humanity, What Do You Meme?, or a poker set collecting dust somewhere, now’s the time to bust these out. 

  • Digital games. If you’re not the type to have Settlers of Catan lying around, get a break from the monotony with an app-based game you can install on your phone like Heads Up! or Psych!. Or, play a controller-based game like Trivia Murder Party or Quiplash from Jackbox, which you can operate from your PlayStation, phone, or tablet.

  • Video games, duh. Thought that one was obvious.

  • Learn something new. That guitar sitting in your bedroom? Play it already. That foreign language you’ve always wanted to master? Download Rosetta Stone. Learn how to foxtrot and tango. Take an online writing class or spread some cheer and make a GIF.

  • Stay fit. Yeah, you could be a couch potato and there’s never been a better excuse, but there are a plethora of free workouts on YouTube. Plus, exercising boosts your immune system even if it’s just 20 minutes a day. That HIIT workout you wanted to try? Do it. The abs you wanted by summer? They’re yours. Who knows, you may come out of self-isolation looking better than ever. 

  • More of a yoga person? See if your teachers are offering virtual yoga classes. My girl Allie Gonino is offering FREE sessions on Instagram Live and privates on Skype and FaceTime payable by Cash App. Your personal trainer is probably willing to do the same, so if they haven’t announced it yet, reach out and see. Look for win-win ways of supporting each other to keep digital currency flowing.

  • Lastly, stay zen. If your body is telling you to relax, use that bath bomb sitting in the bottom of your beauty drawer. See what meditation is all about. With apps like Headspace and nothing but time, why not manage this weird mix of stress and boredom simultaneously?

Now that you realize you are, in fact, better prepared than you thought, what other ideas come to mind on how to survive the coronapocalypse? Share them below!